And so, after that skirmish with my double at the top of that monticule across the mountains in the middle of nowhere, at some point, I see myself and my double actually falling through some kind of hole, some kind pit, spinning around, and as we fall, we are actually fighting and embracing each other at different figures of time, and just then, my double is no more here, this is, by now, it’s actually only me falling through this well, this pit, and so, by now, while going down, I’m actually watching some scenes from the world history on the surrounding walls, this is, I see many explosions on the sky and on the earth, the primitive man running after the beasts, the beasts running after the man, images of wars and massacres happening here and there, people working on the fields and singing in groups, people looked inside factories performing repetitive works, and then, I even see certain scenes from the first great world war, from the second world war, from the third world war, and from some other wars I can’t actually name, and then, just then, I’m already going through some tunnels, some halls covered with some kind of analogue microchips and optical fiber intersections. This is, I go through big cogwheel rooms with hammers and spades, I pass all that shit and finally I’m actually falling through an open sky, this is, by now I’m passing on the side of some clouds, and watching the earth's crust down there, this is, I’m actually watching all these roofs of “real” house coming closer and closer, and then, as I keep going down, slower and slower, I even have time to choose the kind of roof where I want to land, and thus, as it goes, in the meanwhile, I’m already passing through some sort of opening on the roof of this kind of institutional building, I would say, some kind of courthouse, and then, I’m actually landing right on the chair of the culprit, this is, just in time to hear the verdict from the judge, this is, “Absolved”, he says righ now, as he bangs his small mallet on that sort of table, and then, on his back, the public just claps.
quarta-feira, 6 de novembro de 2024
NOWHERE - far away from everything
far away from everything
NOWHERE - going through the mountains
It’s night, and I’m actually going through the mountains, hearing some kind of bombing now, this is, some kind of fat beats coming with the wind, and then, it kinda disappears, even so, as I go down some valley I’m actually hearing different echoes of it, coming from various directions, and then, it extinguish, and comes back again… and, as it goes, I get to understand that, it can be heard only from certain angles and, thus, in the meanwhile, I even climb some mounds, some hillocks, and, as I do it, I do cover one of my ears and twirl around, trying to disclose from where/which side was/is this/that bombing sound actually coming, and subsequently, as I get the answer, downhill I go, already jumping over the heaths and the brooms, passing on the side of some big boulders, diving into the cliffs and then, I’m arriving at the moat, and again, as I arrive here, I’m hearing different echos of that bombing again, and, as it goes, I look up at the starts, moving, drawing figures that tell something about something, and so, after the moat comes the barbed wire, and after the barbed wire there is this actually a gross wall, that I climb, and then, as I reach its top, I can finally watch what is further, this is, at my front there is a huge clearing, a large open area with some kind of oval buildings here and there, live big aquariums, old fashions gyms, or, who knows, disabled armament factories, and so, now I get it, the bombing sounds are/were actually coming from there, and, as I look better at it, it looks like, each of these pavilions are actually producing different kinds of bombing sounds, but, all is mixing here, on the top of this gross wall, and so, at this point I stare at the sky again, trying to make sure if this sounds are actually coming from the earth or from the sky, and again, I see the stars moving, and then, as I’m looking down again, on my front, in between these buildings/pavillions, now I can vizualize some kind of silhouettes moving around, and so, as I see it, there I go, already descending from this gross wall, and as it goes, after the wall there is another moat, and after the moat another row of corrugated barbed wire, and just then, I’m actually running free through the plains, and, as I run, the melange of bombing sounds that I was hearing before, now, it looks like the sounds of various helicopters prowling over my head, and so, as I go, I get to some groups of people, some wearing toxic masks on their faces, others dressed as gorillas, others dressed as old-fashion sportsmen, and also, there is some small groups of cheerleaders here and there, doing their stunts while the gorillas run around them, far away from here, and then, now, as I get to one of these big pavilions/aquariums, I see some colourful decorations attached to its gazed/rusty structures, nonsense stuff, and I also see that actually there is no doors on it, just some small round windows a couple of meters above the ground, and thus, as it goes, here and there I see people clambering through the walls with the help of sticks, this is, guys and girls with tattered clothes shining in the dark, some of them falling while trying to climb, and, I do not stay at one place much time, this is, I go around, to check the structures of the others pavilions, to see if there is any doors, but no, soon I get to understand that it’s all the same, there is no doors, only the same round windows located some meters above the ground, and thus, while running from pavillon to pavillon, I also pass by some group of guys and girls, strange creatures doing some kind of acrobatics, stances adaptated from medieval times, some kind of martial arts, etc. And, as it goes, in the meanwhile, some of these guys dressed in gorilla suits are coming running in my direction, and I, well, I just run away from them, this is, there I go, moving towards the pavilion that is furthest away from here, and so, again, feelling the choppers prowling over my head, and, then, with the help of a sick, as I saw the others doing, I’m already going for one of these round windows, and then, as I go through it, jumping inside, this is, now sinking into this glitched-ambient sounds, down-tempo beats, an ambience that makes my feet slip over imaginary bananas… and also, I may say that, the light here is reduced, and so, as I go through the dance floor, a series of shiny-blue teeth heads are actually dancing around me, and me also, here I go now, wobbling the skeleton, feeling the groove… and then, as those silhouettes are actually coming closer and closer, like, imitating my moves while dancing, this is, at some point there are a bunch of them around me, opening and closing their mouth… sticking their tongues out, making it dance also, and me, well, I find it funny, so, I essay to do the same as them, and, as I do it, this is, while my tongue is out, I feel something landing on it, and, well, I like its taste, so, I chew it during long time, and, while chewing, I keep turning around, warming up, expanding consciousness, and, in the meanwhile, as I keep dancing, turning around, sliding over imaginary ice bars, I hear screams echoing, whispers coming in endless spirals… this is, oblique gestures announcing intentions of sporadic levitation… and then, I also see, big eyes opening on the shabby faces of the ones dancing around me, and, as I look at it, I even can discern different worlds inside that eyes… this is, I see life on distant planets, different kind of birds, and then, staggering, I’m moving around, this is, trying to disclose from where this jelly sounds, this slow beats, are actually coming… and so, while I wander around, going against other creatures also sliding over imaginary ice bars, I look up, and then I can see, from the concave glass ceiling, some individuals coming down, suspended on ropes, embracing thorny flying fishes, this is, cyborgs, guinea fowls, militarist pandas, armanis, pradas, and, as they come there are voices telling me something, voices emitting sounds like swans, maybe like dragon-snakes, and so, in effect, some of them actually come to me, this is, we stick together and together we move, already advancing onto the back of this room where everything is even more shadowy, this is, we pass the big wall of speakers, and there in the back of it, where the groove smashes your brains, there are actually some guys seated on the floor, stretched out, puking diamonds into some sort of puddle, and so, as I come by, I also stretch out on their side, and soon, I feel, some hands sliding through my body, I mean, at first it feels good, but then… I fell a sudden need of catching some fresh air, and so, there I go, instantly climbing the walls, passing trough that sort of aquarium windows again, and, as I land over the lown, everything looks different now, this is, there are no other pavilions, like before, nor other people wandering around, this is, now, what I see here, is what looks like some kind of derailed roller coaster, and so, there I go, already stepping over the rails, wobbling, swinging, oscillating, and then, at some point, I’m even entering one of these wagons scattered about, in the middle of the rails, and, as I go inside, in the middle of the clutter, I see a fridge with its door opened, and so, there I go, sticking my head inside, coz, I’m burning, so, I need this cooling, and then, after a while, when I remove my head, I see everything floating around, inside this room, even the furniture, and other sort of electronics appliances, the cutlery, small gadgets, etc, everything is up, touching the ceiling, and so, only me is here, down, holding this fridge now, and then, as I get away from it, there it goes, levitating, also moving against the ceiling, and all its products that were inside, are now falling over my head, but, it doesn't hurt, like, they have no weight, it’s as if, all these products would actually be hollow, non existential, and then, as I go through some kind of door with curtains, staggering, I see one Pierrot, two Pierrots, three Pierrots, and, one Harlequin, two Harlequins, three Harlequins, this is, everything is double and triple here, and there are also some tailed girls dancing around these Pierrot and Harlequin clones, and then, there I go too, joining them, and thus, at this point, we are all dancing raising the knees now, raising them as we can, trying to hit our chin or so, and thus, in this fashing we are actually advancing through some halls, until that, we are out again, moving through some sandy pitch, sand that burns like hell in my feet, coz, maybe it’s not sand, maybe quicklime, but, these innumerous Pierrot/Harlequin clones are still around, actually sponging on this kind of sand, rolling on it, diving on it… and thus, as I pay attention to it, I can even see that their lips are actually white, and so, this shows that they may been eating it… and thus, then, there I go, already running away from all this scenario, this is, now climbing some stairs, going around a pyramid-shaped building made of recycled materials, it look, and so, as I go around this sort of tower, I feel as if, my heart would actually be inside this sort pyramid, and thus, when I get to the top, it turns out that, the top is actually some kind of nose with big lips and teeth, and so, instantly, there I go, already being eaten by this thing, and, as I go down through the throat of this thing, sliding around, I actually see images of wars and massacres happening in the big screens all around, and then, I’m already landing in a middle of a group of people armed with chains and stuff, this is, skinny people with cold expressions, grunting, pushing, biting... actually pulling the other ones around as a way of dance, this is, heavy metal music merging with some kind of fast and dirty techno beats, and me, well, me, I’m also merging with this macabre ritual, this is, now it’s like, I want to prove that I can be even faster than them, the others turning around, and so, there I go, extending the nerves against the bones, the bones against the flesh, the flesh against gravity, and as it goes, the fantasized frustrations are already arising to the skin… this is, the heart touching the guts… the guts touching the heart, and so, as I keep turning, kicking around, I actually feel that all the misery and confusion of the world is concentring here now, on our legs, on our chest, on our face… this is, we all some sort of mutant cyborgs now, half human, half machine, half animal, half beast, all possessed by the cyber-ecumenical trance... all against all, all smearing the chaos, now. Over. And then, as I faint in the middle of the dance floor, I actually see myself falling into this dream inside some kind of psychiatric hospital, where, instantly, I see my Queen of None, one hand holding the tail of her wedding dress, the other one blustering in the air, running along the white corridors of this supposed hospital, this is, now going up and down some kind of staircases with flashing lights, and then going through some more white corridors with white doors on both side… she tries to open this and that doors, this is, she sticks her head inside one and other room, only the head not the body, she screams some interjections at the doorway, and then, there she goes again, slamming the doors on her back, again, dragging her ragged and rumpled wedding dress along the corridors... and then, here she is again, at the door of another room, this is, now she opens it genty, and softly she walks inside on her toes. And then, as she advance, we can actually see the insides of that room, and this is, the light is dim and flickers, this because, a soft candle-lamp is actually installed in the middle of two unmade beds, and then, while she turns around, we can actually see a body in a corner, I mean, a shrunken body in fetal position, shaking and making a humming sound... but she don't turn to it, she rather approaches the unmade beds, smells the sheets and then, while looking under the bed, she whispers some words like "I've arrived, my love, I've come to pick you up… our vessel is ready, let's go now"; and "Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiu!” says a mouth under the bed. And, there she goes again, running through another corridor, turning right, turning left, climbing another flight of stairs, getting into another corridor and entering another room, and this is, once inside, it’s the same picture as we have seen before, just this time the beds are occupied and their occupants are having some kind of small talk about feelings that goes more and less like this "hate… well, hate is some kind of bug… some kind of bug that some of us have in the stomach"; and then, "Incorrect!” says the other one, “It's not in the stomach that hate is lodged, it is in the exocrine gland, actually"; "no, no, I already had it removed, and the doctors said that it was taken from my stomach"; "that's what they told you but…"; "but I also have seen it…"; "you have seen it… oh so, which was its color?"; “I guess it was some kind of dark magenta…", "Magenta! That is not a color, dear… that is a fruit… a rotten kind of fruit it is…” and here our queen of none intervenes "I bring you the good news, my friends…"; and one of that guys says right away "we already know that you are going to marry today, and at this point, you must be looking for your broom, again, but, we told you already that, we haven't seen him for a long time… we know nothing about him, so please, leave us alone!” And so, then, there she goes, with her ballerina shoes sliding along the corridors of this sort of hospital, going up another flight of stairs, turning right, turning left, already getting in another room where the two beds are empty, perfectly arranged, and everything in the right place. And so, there she goes, now searching inside the wardrobe, she opens the dresser, she looks under the bed, this before leaving and entering another room just on the side of the previous one, and here, there is someone seated on the bed actually, smoking, and so "What happened to those who were in the room next door? Were they discharged?", she demands, "perhaps they have turned into flies and fled through the window", answers a very dry kind of voice, the voice of a man with no face, actually. "And, didn't they take you with them?”; "Why should they do that to me?" And here, again, there goes our ballerina, our queen of none, running towards the stairs, through the corridors, and then, she just gets in another room. And so, here now, there are fishing lights by the head of one of the beds, and so, we can see, two individuals rolled up in wrapping paper, jumping on the bed, this, while making some animist cries. And so, "What's going on here?"; she demands, "Today is St. John's night", "St. Anthony's night" corrects the other. "St. John," insists the first. And so, then, slowly, I mean, in slow motion, we see our queen of none making her way out, this is, running through the corridors again, coming back to the stairs, and then, there she goes, approaching another room, and as she tries to open the door, it doesn't opens straight away, it looks blocked by some object inside, and so, our queen of none force it a bit more, and then, when finally she can open a breach of it, there are some sort of robotic voice coming from inside, a voice saying "you're too late, my queen, your fiancé is dead, he was very nervous because of the marriage, and so, we had to kill him in order to…” and then, I wake up, and at this point I actually see myself at the back of the dancefloor, and here on my sides there are some other guys, crouching, vomiting, and then, the blasting beats are actually making me nauseous again, and so, in a while, I’m back to that dream about my Queen of None, this is, now she isn’t any more going through the white corridors, now, as I understand, what is actually happening here is the funeral cortege of our broom, this is, the one that was killed because he was too nervouse, too nervous because of the committed marriage… and so, here they go now, this is, these might be some of the patients of the hospital, dressed in pajamas, smoking big cigarettes, showing a certain expression of tragicomic disdain while holding a coffin made of cardboard under a heavy sun, and, our queen of none, with a black wreath on her head, walking on the back of this procession. And so, in this fashion, this procession arhythmically advances, and, this is, about a dozen inmates are actually following the so said cortege, and then, between this small group of freaks, we can highlight, a very tall and thin man, actually whistling a kinda happy-melancholic melody, while making two pans bumping into each other, as if they were cymbals. And, following on the front of the cortege, there is also some sort of a priest, making strange signs with his hands as he advances, this is, pointing to the sky, pointing to the horizons, and then, at some point, he even orders the cortege to stop, this is, suddenly, they put the cardboard coffin afloor, and as this happens, some move away, while others just seat on the floor, and so, in the meanwhile, there goes the priest, now opening the lid of the so said coffin, and then, the so called bride is actually approaching, leaning over it, and as it goes, she’s actually touching the body of her lover inside, and then, on her face, we can actually see one only tear running through… this, while the tall man that before followed in the back, is now whistling this/that sort of happy-melancholic melody, more softly now, and then, as the widow gets off, some other guys dressed in pajamas, after throwing their cigarette butts on the floor, they pick the dead body from the cardboard coffin, and there they go, pushing it up some kind of olive tree that was just there, on the side, this is, wedging the corps in between two fat branches, and then pissing on trunk.
NOWHERE - at the fire station
at the fire station
And so, after some hours walking along a series of provincial roads, surrounded by small forests and some kind of agricultural semi-destroyed houses, when the night comes, I find myself in front of some kind of fire brigade building, and, this is, surprisingly, there are lights inside, thus, I decide to try my luck, and so, there I go, already pulling a cordón that makes a serie of bells ring inside, and, in a while, some guys are already coming to see me at the gate, this is, some guys with many eyes on the face but no mouth, actually dressed as firemen. And, so, here they stand now, looking at me with their many eyes, intrigued, and, further, as it goes, I say something, this is, I make some signs with my hands, but, it looks that they understand nothing from the message, this is, they just giggle, and so, after a while, they are already bringging a bigger man with them at the door, and, despite this one having a big mouth just under his nose, he also doesn't speak, this is, he just babbles some sounds, but actually, as it goes, we manage to read each other's mind, and so, by now, he’s actually asking from where am I coming, and so, I manage to tell him that, actually, I’m coming from the Tauramataras, this is, a extinguished country now submerged under water. And he, well, surprisingly, yes, tells me that he know very well where that country is, and so, while we establish this kind of communication, those guys, I mean the small soldiers that before came to the door, here they stay, on our side, looking at us with their many eyes, this is, apparently amazed and bewildered at the same time, and then, there they go, opening their way to me in order to make me get in their palace, actually a huge pavilion with corrugated metal walls. And so, here I’m now, getting inside this large living-room decorated with ancient fire tools and big photos, like puzzles, of the moustached men that used to fight the fires. Therefore, instantly, they make me sit on a big table, and they bring me food, drinks, soucoupes with grains, strange fruits, desserts, and I eat this and that, and while I eat, here they are, staring at me, munching, and the bigger man, the only one with mouth is also here, in the middle of them, and, he talks with them through his hands, and then, his voice comes inside my mind again, this is, he tells me that they are asking him who I am and what am I doing here. And so, I ask him to tell them that I’m some kind old-fashioned messenger, that is, I carry messages from country to country, between different worlds, from the past to the future and from the future to the past. And the soldiers, intrigued with my exposing, now want to know more about these messages, but I say that all these messages are secret messages, I can’t expose it like that, nevertheless, maybe I could give some personalized advice to each of them, and, then, as the transmissions man passes this comment down, I see their eyes getting bigger, rolling around their face, And so, in a while, we are already moving into a small room, this is, just me and the transmissions man, that will translate my messages to them, and, after saying my preys, I start to receive each one, individually, and thus, as it goes, to the first one that comes by, my advice is “You should completely change your life, leave your skin, leave yourself, leave this palace, coz danger will be coming soon.” And to the next one I say “Do not worry no more about what others may think or not think about yourself, do it as you please”. And to the next one I suggested “Be less arrogant with yourself and with the others around, and you will be loved again”. And to the fourth I say, “Go and look for God”. And the fifth, “Study the water and the sky” I say. And to the sixth I suggest “Pay more attention to your dreams, and you will see what is missing…” And to the seventh “The only true love is the love at first sight” I say. And to the eighth, I write a message on a piece of paper and ask him to eat it in order to understand its meaning. And to the ninth, “Stop eating bullshit” I say. And to the tenth I counseled some good black and white movies, like Tarkovsky, Bergman, Polanski. And in this fashion I followed, receiving one after another, and then, at some point, it was over, I have received and given advice to everybody, and so, it was time to go up, into the bedrooms area, this is, bedrooms with bunk beds, where some other guys were already sleeping, and, thus, as we get in, the transmissions man just tells me that, I can choose my bed, my bunk, reinforcing that, I can choose to lay on a top bed or on the bottom one, it doesn't matter, as I prefer, and of course, I chose one of the top beds, because… And, as I choose my place, he passes me a towel and tells me where the shower room is. And so, there I go, with my new towel under the arm, moving into the shower room. But, once there, it’s very difficult to regulate the temperature of water, even so, after a while, I manage do it, this is, now I do not want to leave, I want to stay here forever, thinking about life, thinking about what am I doing here, thinking about all this quaint people I have met here, thinking about where should I go, and then, as usual, thinking about that desert from where I came, the sky falling over the dunes, and me being absorbed by all that digital machinery. And then I wake up, and there I go, coming back to my bunk, this is, I put some pajamas, that was already there, waiting for me, and, I try to sleep, but, I can't, can’t coz there are some other guys whispering things in the the beds around, this is, I thought that they couldn't talk, but now… as I hear them, I remember that times I have passed in that encampment under the bridge, this is, I remember the black brothers whispering non sense things all night, while sticking syringes into their arms, and then I sleep. And, while I sleep, I’m having this dream. This is, in this dream I see myself walking on the side of the sea, this is, I go through many kind of beaches, all deserted, I pass a series of cliffs, and then more beaches again, this is, I walk day and night burying myself deeper and deeper into the sand, until that, there, far away, I see some figures in between some rocks, and so, as I approach it, I already can see that they are human-like beings, this is, fishermen, and so, there they are, around a mesh of fishing networks, slowly, uniting threads, cutting threads, making knots, attaching little pieces of (what looked like gemstones) to some parts of the tangle. And so, as I come by, they do as they are not aware of my presence, this is, they just keep working on it in silence, this until that, one of them (with naked trunk and shorts – like all others) looks to me from head to feet and says something I can really understand, and then, all the others laugh, and as it goes, in the meanwhile, I also start to help them in this job of fixing up the networks, and then, later, at the end of the day, he would take this huge networks inside the small barges moored further down, onsome kind of bay, and as the night comes by, there we go, and while throwing the networks on the waters, we woud sing all together, songs of redemption.
NOWHERE - going across a disintegrated city
NOWHERE - dreaming the ohmland
dreaming the ohmland
Like in a dream inside a dream, I see myself arriving at this small town, actually walking along this narrow road with one floor houses on both sides, each of those houses having a small garden on the front, what looks to be a reminiscence from my hometown. And so yeah, as I advance, up there on the windows, actually, there are people beating pans and pots, just like a premonition, as if they were waiting for me, this is, actually, I can see their pans and pots moving on the windows, but not their faces… And thus, in the middle of this garish cortege I follow, happy, analyzing their rhythms, and sometimes, I also hear like muffled screams, callings, voices that are kinda familiar to me, but I can’t really understand anything from what they say, coz, it’s like they are howling, not really speaking, and so, I keep advancing, until that, I see myself in front of this huge lodge door where some young lads are actually seated on a wall, young lads that are also reminiscences from my childhood, I assume. And then, as it goes, they are also whispering things between them, as if, talking about me in my back, but, I can’t actually understand anything from what they say, so, there are only these looks. And then, it starts to rain, this is, a soft kind of rain, or maybe it’s not rain, maybe it’s people spitting up, this is, maybe slobber falling over from the sky, as we used to say when we were kids. And as it goes, the rain, or the spit, then, it’s actually getting heavier and heavier, and in a while, more and more village people are coming here with umbrellas, and this is, in an instant all these umbrellas are getting wrapped up in each other, and then, people are actually getting stuck at the entrance of this kind of lodge, and so, as I try to help them, I also get stuck in this mess, and afterwards, this big door made of wood here at out front, as if automatically, it opens and, as this happens, everybody is pushed aback now, I mean, everybody less me, that stay here, in front of this opened door, feeling a great pressure, and as it goes, someone or something just pushes or pulls me in, and so, by now, I can't really counter this force, thus, there I go, being dragged inside, and then, hearing a big boom, this is, the sound of the door closing on my back. And once inside, here I go now, still staggering while my eyes are try to adjust to the twilight, and then, just then, I can perceive that the floor is actually not flat, this is, the floor is effectively made of black earth, something like that, and it has some bumps here and there… and then, just then, as I raise my head, I can perceive that there are almost no people here at the entrance, just this big man stretched against the stony wall, by the door, probably the securityman, looking up, and also, I actually feel this strong magnetism that makes me move away from him, and so, in a while, there I go, dragging myself more into the middle of the arena, an area where there are some people walking in circles, and so, as it goes, I even have to make a few pushes in order to get through, and with this physical contact, it’s like their dark faces are gaining new expressions, like, if before they were ghosts, now they are becoming more human. And in a while, afterwards, in front of me I see a very familiar character, it’s actually the butter-man, a mad bohemian character from my childhood, and once again, here he is, again, speaking through the elbows, monologues, as usual, already telling us his typical interjection: "shoup shoup shoup..." while passing me this big piece of butter, surreptitiously, and, at the same time, then, this guy with long dreads is actually coming against me, back against back, and so, straight away I pass him this same piece of butter that the butterman have just passed me, and now, here goes the rastaman, saying “the grass is always greener on the other side”, something like that, and as I hear this, I make as agreeing. And after some more turns, a lady with big tits and a fluff also comes against me, this one asking for money, and so, suddenly I run away from her, passing in-between some people that are wearing big jackets and clocks, even if it’s kinda hot here, and so, I pick one of this clocks, just in case, and move more to the sideways, by the stairs, where I find my old old friend Piricas. And so, as we meet, instantly, we hug each other, with contentment, almost breaking each other's bones. Thus, I ask him how he’s going, and straight away, he tells me that he has just escaped from the reformatory, that's what he tells me with his nasal intonation, and then, straight away, I introduce him to the butter-man, and, at this point, the two begin some kind of confederation, and then, as I go through, someone puts a bowl of wine in my hands, and, as I drink, this someone just asks me “Do you know why Jay Christ came so late?"; "No idea!"; "Nor me, but before his arrival the cow and the donkey were already waiting for ages…" and as he says that he shows some kind of strange 3 grimace, and then, out of nowhere, we also can hear a squeaky laugh romping, and as we look in that direction, we can already see a certain figure wrapped in scarves coming from the laterals, this is, a figure pushing some kind of shopping trolley full of trash, and as it goes by, she/he is actually blowing kisses to everybody in this area here... and then, as this creature approaches, to my surprise, I also recognize this personage, it’s actually Zara, her face painted like a puppet, as usual, but, she’s not coming close by, actually she goes towards the toilet entrance, and then, coming from inside the toilet area, we can already hear her mad laugher, echoing through the cisterns, and as this happens, there goes the butter-man, also running into that same toilet… and so, in the meanwhile, that woman with big tits like melons that were asking for money before, is actually here now, meeting Piricas, my friend, the psychiatric-hospital escapee, and then, there they go, moving somewhere, together. And now, I run away from all this, moving more into the middle zone, where there are more people, the well dressed ones… and so, I try to stick through this crowd, but, it's not easy, because, these people here do not want to move, i mean, they are actually dancing very slowly to a quite minimal kind of techno music, like mummies, and then, finally, I manage to arrive at the front, where is this kind of Irish bar made of black varnished wood. And, as I stand here, now I see some girls and guys actually leaning against this same bar, and, I also notice, all this girls here are actually much taller than the men on their back, telling things like "the square root of the adjacent collateral must be..." or "the soul of the impubescent system that..." or "the disaffection of knowledge that is significant..." or "a bulge in the facts in convergence..." or "the dualistic and central ideas of..." or "the new powers provided for instance in between the statute…" and such other barbarities the likes. And, as I hear all this, I guess this is all people connected to the show-business, and those tall girls without enthusiasm, maybe wanna-be models, or perhaps mere presenters of television in quarantine. And so, in the meanwhile, the barman looks at me with that look, I know, he will give me nothing, coz, he’s even more bored than all of us. And now, about the music coming from the bar speakers, it makes me remember the bumper-car tracks of my infancy, plus the stupidities generally associated with them. Thus, I’m also not feeling good here, and so, I try to move more to one of the sides of the bar, looking for something different, because I'm getting all deaf and dumb here. But, when I reach one of the maids, and ask her for free drinks, she, either does not understand or doesn't want to understand. And so, as I point to the beer taps, they turn their heads to other sides and rush to serve other bored customers. But, I don't give up so easily, and so, already turning back, I look around to see who can I outrage now. And further there, more to the sideline, yeah, I see a lady in a vest dancing awkwardly with two glasses, one in each hand. And thus, there I go, moving straight to her side and quickly asking her for a drink, but also quickly, she confesses, smiling, that she’s actually waiting for her future husband, and so, whoever takes her drinks will have to marry her. And I, well, I kinda agree with that, even telling her that I wouldn't mind marrying her, but, she assures, “I can see that I’m not your type…” and so, I have to move away again, this is, better to leave her alone now… and, as I move back, I perceive some guys that are confederating on international football, or something the likes, and so, there I go, already approaching them, and, as I do it, they seem to get a bit upset with the fact that I’m putting myself in the middle of their conversation. Even so, the first thing they do is ask me that perennial question about “my club of election”. And there I go, trying my luck, letting myself be realistic for a while. And so, I tell them that I have no club of choice, that I go with everyone and I do not belong to anyone, but somehow, I prefer the stripes, the black and whites... And, as the guys hear this, they seem to get very happy with my comment. And then yes, they even pay me a drink, a big one, and here we go, all making toasts now, “a toast to the black and whites” they say. And thus, now, I really drink it all in a sudden, because I was really thirsty, and so, as it goes, “who are you, after all!?”, the guys ask, and I well, I say that “I'm some kind of actor on a loan escaping from a bad movie in order to find love, something like that…” I say, and as I say this they all get silent. And then, there I go, getting away from them, moving in the direction of the corner, and, as I get there, I look into some kind of mirror but, I can’t reallyI see myself, this is, what I see is another familiar face approaching in my back, this is, first a face, then a body dressed in sportive clothes. And as I turn I see, this is Mika, and as we meet we also hug each other and give pats in the back of each other, and straight away, we are remembering that story about a bathtub we stole from some kind of posh house, how we pushed it out of the room through a window, how we made it come down through a fat tree on the side of that same house, and how we crossed almost all the city, an unknown city, dragging that same bathtub with us… even taking people inside it, and then, as I think about this, Mika is gone, and so, while I walk around looking for him, at some point I find myself at the top of a the spiral staircase and down I go... around through the spiral staircase... and, before I reach the bottom, I actually stop... now trying to spot any familiar face in this kind of manifestation/performance that is going on here. But actually, I can't recognise any faces, coz, most of them have blinds on their eyes and there they go, twirling around themselves while screaming stuff related to the word CRISIS. Stuff like "Long live to the crisis” they say, in unison, “the crisis is friendly, the crisis is great... the crisis was already here when we came... the crisis is primordial… long live the crisis, love the crisis, live the crisis, trust the crisis... because the crisis is the challenge of nature itself…” And now yes, there I go, advancing in the middle of it, trying to pass as unseen, but, it's impossible, this is, they promptly come to me, involving me in their performance, still screaming “long live to the crisis, because from the crisis comes the cutting-edge technology... the crisis appeared to kill our desire for reality... the crisis exists because men can not live only from dreams... the crisis is a river that belongs to the monopoly of the creator... the crisis is the main energy of the universe itself... the energy contains the lizard's tail in the snake's tongue... and so, in the name of the father, in the name the untie, and in the name of the son and in the name of the holy bitch, long live the to the CRISIS... let's dig our fertile lands... let's plant the CRISIS, let's pick the CRISIS, let’s love the CRISIS now... yes, let’s hug the unknown", they say. And so, when I reach the other side of this CRISIS room, I enter a smaller room where some youngsters, girls and boys are seated on the floor in a circle, and as I sit by their side, one turns to me and says "Close your eyes bro, and you will see, the panic turning into mint, you know, we are the matter yield by the navel… you know, this ventricles here carrie only love and nothing more, you know, we are doomed to give and to receive and all this illusion is real, everything is real, we are more real than the conception of reality yeah!” And then, not enough, another guy, like in some kind of poetry competition, says something like “through the ruins of the memory the circulation may become slow and heavy as the irony falls into the gutter... and then, there are this sirens that never stop... day and night a permanent pulsar... and so, the reason is, it's always a good time to leave... being in the shadows creates worms, and worms are bad advisors, they have a crush on philosophy and sooner or later they will spit their viscous in your face…” he says, with a strange intonation.
NOWHERE - riders of the lost ark
NOWHERE - awaking under that bridge
NOWHERE - the descending sky
And so, here I go now, through the desert, rolling on the sandbanks, falling on the fold, and then, as I look up, I can actually see that the sky is aparently descending, approaching, I mean, it looks like sooner or later it will fall over our heads, over ours consciences, over our everything... anyway, as it comes, I just keep advancing, with my eyes turned upwards, dragging myself on the crest of some dunes, and as it goes, at some point, I’m even vizualizing some sort of towers appearing and disappearing on the horizon, and, as I stare at it, I may say that, I'm feeling a great atraction, I mean, a strong desire of getting even closer, even if it may be just an illusion made of sand and smoke, it doesn't matter, I really wanna get there, and so, there I go, here I go again, changing directions, on the prowl of it, and then, as I’m apparently getting there, I may say that, well, these things, these towers, as they appear they also disappear, I mean, it looks like they keep changing their places, and then, in the meanwhile, or, all in a sudden, as the devil rubs their eye, I’m already being engulfed by some kind of sandstorm, and, yeah, while actually turning in the sand, it happens that, I come to see various shadow beings coming closer and closer, this is, twirling, dancing around me myself and you… I mean, goshes, sprits, jinnees, whatsoever… mumbling, hollering, yelling, freedding quaint laughs while turning… and then, I don’t know how, I mean, at this exact point, some of these shadows are already coming here, inside my body, tickling my bowels and spirit, and, well, as it goes, in while, I have a palette of voices babling things inside my head, my conscience, I mean, things like “I’m the true-truwe, and I will guide you through the stars…”; or, “I’m the real-reel, and I will carry you to the matter…”; or, “I’m the free-freeda, and I will take you wherever you wanna go…” and, well, as I hear this things, there I go, again, running on the crest of some dunes, still trying to approach this or that tower, now looking bigger and bigger, and then, they are gone again, this is, they desapear from here and reappear in another place more in the back, and so, to keep on the prowl of it, I have to change my directions too, thus, in a while, down another dune I go, and well, while descending, I'm actually looking up again, and, as I look, I can actually see in between the dark clouds, some sort of blinking numbers and letters becoming blurred faces with pointy teeth, and then, these numbers and letters are also running and toppling over, changing its form, and, as it goes, somehow, these voices I was hearing inside my head before, now, are actually incorporating these blinking faces coming down, and... as they come, at this point, I'm already being sucked by this sort of magnetic sky, this is, I mean, my body and existence is now being choked by the jobbery and agiotge of numbers, asterisks and their nonsense… and, as it happens, in a while, I have flashing electricity running through my veins, meat and bones… although, in my mind, or, in my conscience, I mean, while rolling through these tunnels at the speed of the light, I still know who I am, or at least, I pretend that I know, and then, as I’m being engulfed by this meta-mathematical sky, I’m having emotions like misery, hope and contentment fighting inside myself, and then, as I keep going through, I feel like fighting against the wind and making love with the sand at the same time... and as this happens, I’m already going through some tunnels, this is, tunels with halls covered with some kind of analogue microchips and optical fiber intersections, and, I mean, in a while I'm already going through big cogwheel rooms with hammers and spades, this is, I pass all that shit, and then, finally, I’m actually falling through an open sky, this is, now, down there, I can actually see some sort of humps and bumps, some craters, I mean, there are a lot of toppled constructions everywhere, strange artfacts scatered around, dark-grey smokes hovering here and there, but, actually, in the middle of all that havoc, there are no real movimentations, I mean, no life, no people anywhere to be seen.
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