The Wanderer and their Double

 It's night. It's often night around here and I'm coming alone. So, here I go, treading along this cracked tarmac road uphill downhill non stop. Yes, it's all about me now. Not you. It's been ages since I left that industrial area, but I guess we still can decry one or other ruined pavilion if we look back through the darkness. But, better no, do not look back, gotta keep the march... And, let's say, these little stones rolling under my feet and jumping to the sides, they give a sense, an order, a meaning, they communicate, they bring you the future... the existence and all the in-betweens... Far away, coming from one of the sides of the road, beyond the curtains of smoke, further, beyond the fallen walls, coming from the heaths and the marshes, we can hear something, first just a squeaky voice, more like a murmur, a sort of miserable pleading sound that progressively becomes a full range canine orchestra with baritones, sopranos, and sopraninos coming from downstream, east and west. Stray mutant dogs, shadows of agony, fury and trance, announcing the presence of a stranger - my presence, your absence. Really. The smell of my blood momentarily awaking the sins of the world. And you there, dreaming with a possible enemy, a possible savior, who knows the color of the beast. But I keep on the line, as it comes it also goes. The time passes and the voices begin to decay, to lapse, the barks and the yelps turning into distant howls... And finally, the silence again, your eyes remaining… Another age passes, and there at the top, at the top of the slope, a lamppost waiting for me, waiting for us. So, now, I slow down the march, and while scratching my head I look back, but, nothing irregular I notice, just then,  when I turn again ahead to the lamppost I see... more like a... there you are, waiting for me... I approach. Yes, it's true, it's you here (there) sitting on this rock under this lamppost waiting for news. But what a heck, we look so similar, I would say, it's me not you,  and,  guess what... slowly the thing gets down from the rock, getting closer, moving his rubber legs smoothly, looking at the top of myself, and me also staring inside “his” silhouette, his lips trembling, I scratch my head again. Motionless under this yellowish light. Some blinking, stardust, and however somehow, what looks like a bob hat comes with the warm wind and lands on the muddy floor between us two, and, without losing time, I'm the one advancing two or three paces stepping on the brim of this same hat... and “the thing” also taking a few steps forward, doing the same moves as me, also stepping over the brim of the hat. We both face to face, the noses almost touching, the eyes getting bigger, and only now I can realize that, despite our similarity, we are not really the same. A few seconds of disturbed silence follows... eternity speaking:

  - So, what? - who are what? - Yes, what is what?!  - I'm what!  - You are what?  - Yes I'm what gives what...- You are what gives what? - I'm what gives meaning! - You are what gives meaning to what? - I'm what gives meaning to your questions! - But what question?! - Who are you what? - Me? I'm all that is between this hat and this boots! - Not big thing I see, and what are you doing here? - Same as you, just watching the sights... - And why you say it like that? - Because my vocal chords so wish... - With much certainty you speak! - Yes dear, I have the truth on my side… - But what truth? - The real truth. - Isn't it perhaps the horned truth? - I see, you feel a like beast and speak like an animal. - An animal at least does not have to bother with reasoning. - Oh yeah, how you know? - A dog can rest in peace... - And do not you rest? - No, I'm afraid of hurting the flowers. - Hum, good one, good one... but you might know that suffering is inseparable from life. - I know, I know, but... - And what else do you know? - I know your intentions are not worthy... - Why not worthy? - Because I see, all you want is to explore, to flip, to confuse... - And what's unworthy in that? - Your goal is destruction… - You are wrong body! I'm just trying to find the way to the sand-castle… - And why do you think I can help you? - You're already helping… - Hum, It's good to be useful... - And what more can I do for you, brother? - You may help me to take off this boots? - Sure, now just sit down and stretch your leg. - And the flowers? - Look! You care about the steps you're going to do and not about what is already beneath your feet! - I wish I could float… - No need to be so naïve, mate! We can solve it other way... - As? - If you get on that tree over there and hang yourself from one of its branches I easily can do the job you need me to do. -  And then what will you do with the boots? - What you want me to do with them? - Can you make them disappear? - I'm not a magician, but maybe I can bury them in a hole and... - I do not intend to rummage the earth... - So I can perhaps hide them underneath the dried leaves... - But they would still exist... - I can set them on fire... - Maybe that's a good solution... - So let's do it. Can you move towards that tree now please? - And the flowers? - I will carry you on my back. - No, I won’t let you touch me… - So, nothing done… - That's right, nothing done, let's forget all this, I myself have already forgot these boots... - And will you be here forever? - I'll stay here until I find a reason... - But I need you to come with me... - Hell! Where do you want me to go? - Precisely to the sandcastle... - Now? - Perhaps... - And why do not you go alone? - Because only you can help me to find the way. - What makes you think so? - The reason is stamped on your face... - What with my face? - I see you carry the key in you. - Sure? Inside or out? - In and out. - And what's going on that sand-castle? - The freedom lives there... - Hum, so this is your point, freedom? - True! - And what will I get for me? - You will get the truth. - Fast forward! - I can't now... - But why can not you? - Uncertainty just took over, sorry... - But your purpose is freedom, and I'll lead you to it... - I do not fully trust in you, now!  And why don't you trust if the truth is with me!? - I feel that the uncertainty is stronger than the truth... - I felt like that just now and I do not feel no more... - Do you feel free? - I'm able to move on... - And are you able to do it alone? - No, because the castle is an invention of yours. Without you, there is no castle... - So you believe that my fantasy is real? - I believe that its all the same... - And do you believe freedom awaits for me? - I believe.... - And if I get the freedom thing what will you get? I will take hold the treasure hidden in the castle...  - And your boots, will them not hinder your going? - I will now strip them off. - And no more afraid of hurting the flowers? - No, actually, now I feel full of courage. - Calm down, calm down... it looks that we no more need to go... - Oh my... but why!? - Because freedom is about to come here right now... - Oh and there she comes... - Yes, and there she goes! - Can't not! - She went without even notice us... - Oh my, totally lost we're now... - Let's go after she, after it... now... - No no and no. We were expected to meet in the castle... - Maybe she will come back... - Come back to where? - To the castle... No, there is no more any castle, without freedom there is not any castle... - Look, there must be castle, because I'm the key that will lead you to the castle... - Exactly, freedom carry with she the castle, where it goes, the castle will go... - And have you seen any castle passing by? - No, you are the one that should have seen it, because you are the guide! - I haven't seen anything... - But which function have the truth if you are blind? - Maybe the truth is that blind… - Well! And now? - Now I do not know who am I! - You are the one underneath that hat. - And you, you are... you are the one above these boots right!? -  Certainly! - And will you still be able to help me? - Yes I will help you to rebuild the castle... - Forget it, I no longer want to hear about any castles... - So you no longer need me? - No, you can go! - But I was already here when you came... - And? - And this is my territory. - It's so yours as mine. - Not true... - And what do you know about truth? - It was I who brought the truth to you. - Maybe, but now the owner of the truth is I... - And what will you do with that truth? - I still do not know well... I have to think! - Would you like me to take off your boots so you can be more accurate in your own thinking? - No need. - Are you still afraid of hurting the flowers? - I don't know! - So you no longer going anywhere? - Why should I go? - You may want to go after freedom... - No, the one that wanted to go after her was you... - Well, I don't need that now. - Why not? - Because now I myself am freedom. - Well said but then, who was that beauty that passed by here minutes ago? - Actually I think it was the despair! - Oh the despair is also a woman? - True! - If it is true or not isn't your business, truth is my knowledge... - And what do you know? - I know you not going anywhere without me... - Shut up! I'm freedom, I go where I want… - Then go. Why don't you go? - I do not feel like going now, my desire is to stay here, enjoying the views... - Freedom do not does things like “enjoying views”... - That is me who decides... - Freedom does not make decisions. Decisions are made by reason! - Don't tell me, the reason now is you? - Exactly! - And what do you decide? - I decide you are not liberty, you are the despair... - But haven't the despair passed by here just now? - No, who went through here was fraternity... - Oh my, Who is that? - That is the... is the harmony... - And why didn't it noticed us? - Because we are nothing but fools... - But you are the reason, and the reason is above the nonsense. - You're wrong, the reason is capable of the best and the worst... - Good thing she didn't stop, since I'm the despair I would rip her ass out of this world... - It's impossible to hurt the harmony! - You have no idea of what I'm capable now... - Oh yeah, what are you can be able of? - I can... I'm able to predict the future... - Hum, now you are a magician? - With complete safety and satisfaction! - And what do you foresee? - I predict that harmony will pass here again running... - I do not see anything coming… - You forget you are blind, the truth is blind... - Actually I'm not the truth my friend, been a long time I'm the reason... - And isn't it the same thing? - Do you think that, is the despair that leads to magic? - Shut up and watch! - Yes, there she comes... - See how she comes jaded! - God bless! And from what-which would such a creature flee? - Breaking out from my prophecy, I had predicted that she would become the chaos itself... - I would say she is all already an hiper-harmonious chaos... - You vision is ostensible, my fiend... - Sure I'm what is right! - Quickly you will be another thing... - Take good care of my destiny! - Now you are the falsehood! - That not, make attention, that I can... - You can what? - I can, I can kill... - Noesis? - I'm not the only one... - Is that an accusation? - You lied when you said to have the truth on your side, you lied when you asserted your freedom, you lied when you presented yourself in the role of the despair… - You the one that continues to lie, I was never the despair. Despair passed by here running and told me a secret... - What secret, you are an idiot... the one that passed by here running was the temptation! - And why should I believe you if I'm an idiot and you are lying all the time... - It was you who said that. But you are nothing more than a peon… - So who are you anyway? - Take atention, now I'm the beauty! That's it! - Oh dear! How do you justify that?  Hence my inability to hurt the flowers, hence my fickleness, hence here have passed three times, the running temptation... - But I do not think you're beautiful.... - You have to give me some time... - I do not believe in time.... - Look at your wrinkles and you will believe. - Why should I look at mine when I have yours in front of my eyes? - I do not have wrinkles, beauty have got no wrinkles, all I is just qualities! - You full of importance now.... - Look who's talking! You have taken yourself as a magician... - Again, I'm no more than what's under this hat. - Can´t see any hat now... - And the boots are gone too... - Damn, why are we still here? - Uffa, here where? - There in the shadows!! - Holy bitch! Fuck you and your shadows... - And also fuck you and your shity pretentions and representations... - Yes, fuck everything... fuck me fuck you fuck this world, and the next one... - Fuck fuck fuck! Son of one thousand bitches, all is fucked now, let's leave...