Amman/Hanoi/Doula/Bogotá/Naples/LosAngeles
Now, I’m in Al-Balad, a downtown area in Amman, and at the same time, I’m in Hanoi, I’m in Duala, I’m Bogotá, I’m in Naples, and I’m in Los Angeles, now going through Santa Monica Boulevardi. But, back in Amman, still at the the so said al-Balad area, going along the Rainbow street, formerly known as Abu Bakr Al Siddiq Street, and, after a while, I’m in Hanoi again, this is, now going across the Long Bien bridge, and so, here now, we are actually five, mounting on tree bicycles only. And as it goes, I’m in Duala again, a major port city in Camarons, more precisely, a city in front of the Bight of Biafra, also known as the Bight of Bonny. And at the same time, I’m somewhere in Bogotá, the third-highest capital in South America after Quito and La Paz. And then, I’m in Naples, still going uphill, following along this cobblestone alley with several skewed buildings on both sides, some of them with their varandas half covered with different kinds of awnings, and others, showing an array of trinkets hanging from their balustrades, strange clothes, household appliances, wigs, etc. And then, again, I’m in Los Angeles, still going along the Santa Monica Boulevardi. And at the same time, I’m in Amman, now at the Jara Souk, some kind of street market with a panoply of handmade items, colourful ceramics and plastics, beaded jewelry, little jars with Disi Sandstone, the type of stone that the Petra temples were made of, local honey, and, between other things, books about old civilizations, like the Ammonites, the Moabites the Edomites... and paintings of royalty figures, like this one here now, this is, a big canvas of king Hussein bin Talal, Abdullah II(the current king) and Sadam Hussain, all side by side, drinking tea and eating biscuits. And then, further, I’m in Hanoi again, presently cycling along some sort of narrow avenue just on the side of the Red river, yes, that famouse river coming from China, and, thus, as before, we are five, following on tree bicycles only, this is, the two local guys riding on the front are actually riding a bicycle that have some kind of trunk on the back, a trunk covered with bamboo baskets and stuff, and me being the second, driving my own bicycle, also carrying some equipment, and then, on my back, there are the Russians, also mounting on one bicycle only, and, yeah, as it goes, I can say that this scene can look a bit ridiculous, coz, they are too big for that bicycle, and thus, there they come, meandering through the middle of the road, with their bodies intertwined, like if exercising some circus gimmick. And then, I’m in Duala again, the capital of Camerons, now advancing on the side of the Wouri river, and further, going more into the city, this is, now going across the Akwa neighborhoods, and so, I may say that, the traffic here is actually a mix old European/japanese cars from the eighties and some sort of motorcycles as well, this is, some of the drivers of those motorcycles are actually driving with one hand only, using the other to hold some sort of colorful umbrella over their heads, what should be some kind of moto-taxi, and then, as we go through, I come to pass a series of small supermarkets and small offices to receive money sent from external countries, like the ATL Money and the Money Grant, and some mechanic workshops working side by side with bakeries, this is, the black oil from those workshop spreading until the entrance of the breadshops, that also sells meat, and then, after some more deconstructed buildings covered by branches of the Moringa, also called the Drumstick tree, or the Benzoil, I get to know that the oil extracted from this tree is actually incorporated into cosmetics, in europe, not here, they say. And then, I’m in Bogotá again, now at the top of a mountain just on the side of the city. A mountain where is the “El Señor Caído - The Fallen Lord" monument, which, they say, rises around three thousand meters above the sea level. And then, I’m in Napolis again, this is, after having been walking through that cobblestone alleys with skewed buildings on both sides, some of them palatial, I got to a crossroad with an abandoned fountain and a broken saint statue on the top of it, I mean, now I can see that there is something covering the face of that saint. And well, as I'm getting closer and closer to it, now I can see that actually this saint has some kind of gorilla mask on his stony face... and then, after quenching my thirst on the so-said fontain, there I go, already mounting over the curved body of this saint, and then, yeah, as I reach his head, straight way, I’m quickly picking this gorilla mask and inserting it on my own face, and so, now, here I’m, I mean, through the eyes of this mask, I'm currently watching the roofs over the city, and further, that huge blackish mountains on the back of it, this is, the so-called Mount Vesuvius, an active volcano that already destroyed Pompei and can actually erupt at any time again… and so, as I think about that, I begin to hear some kind of laughs, hootings, boos, coming from… well, apparently coming from my back, and so, instantly, as I get down from this silly statue, there I go, already in the range of these human noises, and thus, while I advance, I’m actually beating my hand on my own chest, letting out some roars, this is, by now, I'm actually experimenting my new personality. And then I’m in Los Angeles again, more precisely, going along Sunset Boulevard where Elvis Presley once had a house, and then, I’m in Amman again, still at the Jara Souk, this is, by now, I’m actually experimenting some typical Jordanian food such as zaatar bread with fried shrimps and hummus, being Zatar, a Levantine culinary herb or a spicy mixture that includes toasted sesame seeds, dried sumac, basil, thyme, etc. And as it goes, I also try makdous, a dish of oil-cured aubergines and tangy eggplants stuffed with walnuts, red pepper, garlic, olive oil, etc. And then, I also try something African, because I end up at a stall with some guys from the Eritreia, and so, this man with a long orange beard with beads on it, named Isaias, he just offered me something he call Genfo, this is, a stiff porridge-like mixture of dark butter, red peppers, sunflower seed and Beles, some kind of cactus pear I already know from other north african countries. And then, I’m in Hanoi again, already going across the city centre now, the so-called Phố cổ Hà Nội, this is, before we were five, riding on three bicycles, but now, we are just three, riding on two bicycles, I mean, the two big russians have just disappeared in the middle of the traffic, and so, by now, it’s only me and the other two other local guy riding on the same bicycle, and then, as we reach the gardens around the “Hoan Kiem” lake we dismont, and in the meanwhile, my colleagues are already going through this gardens carrying wicker baskets loaded with staff like decorative paintings, bamboo miniatures, etc, this is, they are actually looking for clients that would buy their merchandise, and me, well, me, there I go, already moving to the entrance of the Cầu Thê Húc, this is, the Welcoming Morning Sunlight Bridge, where I will install my percussion set composed of bamboo instruments that I will play for the tourists and other visitors. And then I’m in Duala again, and, while following along the Boulevard de L’Unite, I actually meet someone that wants to buy my hair, and so, we discuss about it. And in the meanwhile, I’m back to Bogotá, and so, I go across Las Aguas, Vera Cruz and the Alameda neighborhoods. And then, I’m in Napolis again, I mean, I'm back to the top of that hill from where we can actually see the Mount Vesuvius, this is, by now, I’m at some kind of small plaza hidden in the middle of some decrepit buildings, and, I may say, there are some kind of nightlife here, this is, some people actually wandering in front of some kind of bars, nightclubs, and others, actually hanging through the small gardens in the middle of this plaza with beer bottles or plastic glasses in hand. And so, as I go through it, amidst all the giggles, whispers and whimpers, I even can hear tattered discussions about the existence of abominable beings; interjections of dubious connotations; lascivious looks topped off with weird pronunciations; stories about transgenic fairies and smart woodworms going through your body; stolen kisses; and then, I can even see some guys acually pissing in the middle of the bushes, and further, there are also some guys and girls lying on the central lawn, heads turned up, eyes staring at the closed sky, and others, going through them, spilling beer in their faces, telling all kinds of bullshits, and then, there I go too, still with that gorilla mask covering my face, now introducing myself loud and clear "Uha uha, ed io ho due amori (Uha uha, and I have two loves)... Uhu! Aha! Uhu! Aha!... che in nessun modo sono uguali (that in no way are the same)... Uhu Aha Uhu! Ma non sono sicuro (but I’m not sure!)... Uh! Ah! Ah! Se sono immaginari o irreali (if they are imaginary or unreal) Uhu aha! aaah!” I scream, while giving some punches on my chest, and then, I continue like this, "Ma non ne sono sicuro! (but I'm not sure!); “ahu! ahu! Che mi piace di più! ahu! ahu! Che mi piace deedee più!" (Which I like best) I say, still advancing through the central gardens, and then while passing on the side of two young dudes with studied beards, I hear one say “Relativity only exists with knowledge of the absolute, but...”, “But but!” I troll “the absolute or the relative... which one is the most... uhah uhaa”. And then, on the other side of those gardens, I also see, a couple of guys dressed in black actually dragging themselves across the lawn, apparently, looking for something they have just lost… and so, there I go, already doing some pirouette in the middle of them while punching my own chest saying, "Ma non sono sicuro.. ahu ahu… ma non ne sono affatto sicuro... (but I'm not sure, ahu ahu, but I’m not really sure) “dottore o ingegnere... yeah… doctor or engineer... quale sia più banale…” (doctor or engineer, yeah, doctor or engineer, which one is more trivial) I say, and then, there I go, already leaving those gardens, going across the road surrounding it, this is, currently approaching the entrance of some bars and nightclubs where there are more people hanging in small groups, still with my gorilla mask on. But, now, back to Hollywood, Los Angeles, this is, while following through some back streets I just met this guy that swears to have participated in the movie called The Sting, a movie that was shot almost fifty years ago, and so, I ask him what kind of movie is that after all, and, well, he tells me that this is a movie from the Caper genre, and well, I tell him that I don't know what that genre is, an so, he explains “the heist or caper genre is a subgenre of crime films focusing on the planning, execution, and aftermath of a significant robbery”, and, after he have explained me some of the scenes he have done in that film, he even wants to show me where the movie was actually shot, and so, straight way, he orders a taxi, and there we go, already advancing through the Hollywood Freeway. And then I’m in Amman again, still at the Jara Souk, now talking with this man from Eritrea, this one that offered me that porridge-like thing, and so, presently he is actually explaining me about the war in his country, this is, “from sixties until the nineties, Eritrea fought a thirty-year war of independence against Ethiopia, and then, after the end of the war, they still couldn’t agree about where to demark the border between the two countries, this because they keep looking back to colonial-era treaties between the Italian Empire and Ethiopia, and in this view, the one who always ends up losing is Eritrea” he says. And then, I’m back in Hanoi, this is, by now I'm at the entrance of the Cầu Thê Húc, I mean, at the entrance of certain pedestrian bridge over the “Hoan Kiem” lake, a lake situated on the old quartier of the city, and so, yeah, I’m busking here, I mean, I have my percussion set already installed here on the floor, just before the bridge, and I may say, a set actually composed of a Dàn Bầu, some tibetan bowls, some wooden boxes of different sizes, and a t'rung, that is some kind of traditional bamboo style xylophone, and, I’m actually playing on all this at the same time, and, as it goes, some locals give money, some tourists take fotos, others make questions about my identity, and well, I say that I’m actually Thai, Japanese, Malaysian, Russian, etc, and, I even fake some japanese accent, etc, this is, the important is to keep playing. And then, I’m in Duala again, this is, I have just reached the Rond Point Deido, where is the most famous and emblematic artwork of Douala, a majestic twelve meters tall sculpture made of different kinds of scrap metal, this is, a sculpture depicting an iron man made of different kinds of screws and stuff, one leg raised, one hand over his eyes, like if trying to see beyond, and some kind of ball over his head, a sculpture that, despite its formality, is still often nicknamed the Njo Njo of Deido, this is, the evil monster of Deido, I get to know. And then, I’m back in Bogotá, this is, at the Parque Bicentenário I meet a guy from Muisca ethnicity, an ethnicy whom prior to the arrival of Columbus have actually settled in the valleys and fertile highlands of the Altiplano Cundiboyacense (modern-day departments of Cundinamarca and Boyacá and small parts of Santander), and, was actually one of the great civilizations in the Americas. And plus, I also get to know that, the agriculture and salt-based society of this people was actually rich in goldworking, trade and mummification, and, their religion consisted of various gods, mostly related to natural phenomena as the Sun (Sué) and his wife, the Moon (Chía), rain (Chibchacum), rainbow (Cuchavira), feasting (Nencatacoa) and wisdom (Bochica). And then, I’m in Naples again, still at this piazza from where we can have glimpses over the Mount Vesuvius, this is, I’m now standing on the sidewalk in front of the entrance of one of those bar/taverns, and so, here on the side there is some green-haired young man playing the guitar in a fast and awkward style while singing something like “diffondi tua merda, diffondi tua merda, prima che ci si impantani diffondi tua merda, ovunque tu vada diffondi la tua merda, diffondi tua propria merda”, what means something like “spread your shit, spread your shit, before you get bogged down on it, wherever you go, spread your shit, spread your own shit…” and as he say this things, here I’m, here I’m, standing on his side, giving some punches on my own chest, and then “non mangio pasticcini, non mangiamo più pasticcini, a noi non frega vostre leggi puzzolenti…” he keeps saying, and as he sings this, I’m already entering one of the bars on our back, still with my my gorilla mask on, and well, after some more punches on the chest, there I go, already trying my luck, “Utsh-Utsh-utsh, per favore, fare l'elemosina al gorilla - Utsh-Utsh-utsh please, give some alms for the gorilla” I scream, and well, as I say this things I’m getting some attention, this is, some people are actually turning to me, and so, now, I must continue, “compiacere, per favore, fare l'elemosina al gorilla che ha anche il diritto di amare, ma come può farlo con la bocca asciutta? come può farlo eh? Fai l'elemosina al gorilla, compiacere - please, give some alms to the gorilla, please, who also has the right to love, but, how can he do that with a dry mouth like this, how” I say as I go through the insides of the bar, and then, coming from the side of the balcony, I actually can hear something like “torna allo zoo, cagnolina, girati e vai a cagare al cimitero, pipistrello - come back to the zoo you doggy, turn around and go to shit in the graveyard, you bat” and then, “ma dove vieni, faccia da mucca - but, from where are you coming you cow face!” someone comments, and, despite these comments, I may continue, thus, “fate l'elemosina ai gorilla, che ha bisogno di monete per recuperare la sua condizione umana - give some alms to the gorilla, that is in need of coins to recover its human condition”, I say, and well, despite cheering up the crowd, acually, I’m not being very successful in my requests, and so, before I turn around, the establishment's security man is already coming within my reach, saying "Non puoi essere qui mascherato, e non puoi essere qui anche a chiedere soldi! - You can't be here masked, and also, you can’t be here asking money”, and, well, as I hear this, straight way I even say, "Non posso essere qui mascherato tanto quanto tu non puoi essere qui con un beccuccio - I can't be here masked as much as you also can’t be here with a nozzle on your mouth”, and, as I say this, now, paff, I’m already receiving one punch, two punches, and then, my mask falls on the floor, and there I go, already crawling in between the legs of all those people, trying to recover my mask, and, as it goes, I receive one more kick from here, one more pnch from there, and then, as this happens, the punks that were outside at the entrance, by now, are actually coming in to defend the gorilla, myself, and well, those who were playing snooker in the back, by now, are actually coming armed with their sticks against the punks, and in the meanwhile, there are chairs and tables flying around the establishment, and then, while I run into the toilet someone turns up the volume of the music, which the lyrics say more and less like this, “Quando cammino per strada (when I walk down the street) / Tutti mi guardano (everybody looks at me) / Sembra che vogliano mangiarmi (and it looks like they want to eat me) / E questa merda non finisce mai (and this shit never stops) / E quando accendo la televisione (and when I turn on the TV) / Tutti parlano di problemi nazionali (all them talking about the national problems) / Niente può essere risolto (nothing can be solved) / Loro sono animali (for that they are animals) / Sono animali (they are animals)... And then, I'm back in Los Angeles, this is, me and Oliver, this ex-actor on a loan that I have met in the hollywood neighborhood, and so, as it goes, the taxi leaves us at the entrance of the Skid Row area, this because, as said before, Oliver wants to show me some of the locals where that movie he participated (the sting) was actually shot. and thus, here we go, currently hitting the crossroad between the San Pedro street and the 5th street, and so, yeah, we are actually in the heart of the SkidRow by now, and, well, as you may imagine, there are many tents installed here along the sidewalks, and thus, as it goes, a bunch of shabby people are actually dwelling around those tents, yelling nonsense stuff to the passersby, and, in the meanwhile, as we pass in front of this group of tents, there is this guy dressed as Elvis, actually pointing some sort of plastic gun into us, and then, as he makes this sounds like if the gun was actually shotting, my mate tells me, just now, “you see, it was there… I mean, one of the main scenes from that movie I told you about it was shot there, you see...” he says while pointing up at the windows of some kind of decrepit building with a front lettering actually saying “Panama Hotel”.
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